How to Be Your Own Best Friend
We all have an unsuspected reserve of strength inside that emerges when life puts us to the test.
Isabel Allende
Post written by Katarina Miletic Join my Inner Circle
Oh, we are going to expose some myths
today. Have you heard that biggest one
of all that you are ‘too close to your own situation to see it and know how
best to resolve it’.
The subjects I am choosing this month are
far from random, in fact they are significant, and the timing is particularly
important. Without going further into that subject, the matter of self-love has
been present as long as humans, but it is more so talked about in recent times.
And the theory is not going to help a person who is feeling lonely and alone
during the time when most people are surrounded with loved ones. Also, that may
not be their only challenge at the moment. There may be a health worry, or a
job situation issue, or a heartbreak they are going through, or grief because a
loved one passed away and this is the first of many holidays they will face
without them in person, or some stupid addiction they don’t know how to get rid
of by themselves for years that has slowly but surely alienated them from
everyone they loved - or, all of those together…. I hear you, my dear friend.
Even if you were lucky enough to grow up
surrounded by people who truly knew and respected their inner being, things can
still go astray. Sometimes you are so far forward on that leading edge, that it
will take a long time before you meet up with a group of souls that are right
there, but you don’t know them just yet and you can’t even see them. It’s OK.
There is a way of finding yourself again.
Let’s Move it Out of the Abstract
You will never be able to hug yourself, but
when you feel the attention and love that your inner being is offering you
tirelessly – it will feel warm and safe. You will know what true home is for
the first time. And this is what will change everything.
Even to me, a person who was never scared
of expressing all the love that I found in my heart – something wasn’t
connecting. I had to go through some unbelievably and almost unbearably
difficult goodbyes in my life before a revelation came. And it came in stages,
because this was a huge lesson, a great fundamental stone upon which everything
else is built in life.
Remember This
Everything worth learning, everything you
have to master – life will bring about into your experience. And in the moment
when that thought ‘I don’t know if I will
be able to go through this’ first surfaces – just remember one thing: it’s
not always going to come to you as a lightning striking moment of insight. Most
of the time that revelation will be the process that you need to embrace – and
after you take certain steps, after you reach deeper into your soul and see the
answers you seek – you will have your A-ha moments!
The revelation, and the reward, and the
better version of you is always proportionate with how difficult that challenge
seems when you first face it. Don’t shy away from the battle. Paulo Coelho
called you a Warrior of Light for a very good reason. Listen, there will be
battles which are prudent to avoid, because they are not your battles. But,
your soul will know which are the challenges on your own path. Those battles,
my friend, you cannot lose, unless you choose to give up. Giving up is the
ultimate loss and it is not in your nature to give up on your dreams – that’s
not how you are built. Giving up will make you die inside while you are still
alive. And that is the worst way to die (and a whole another subject which we
don’t ever need to tackle, do we).
How it Made Sense to Me
The stages of self-love as I have lived
though them and as they have been revealed to me are:
·
Knowing yourself
·
Understanding choices
·
Best friend analogy
·
Deeper level peace
Knowing Yourself
So, life has either presented you with the
challenging situation, or you are at a subtle beginning of awakening and you
are suddenly becoming aware that life is not going in the direction that is
satisfying to you – however that is displaying, and whatever may be causing it.
Something has triggered your awareness. Reassure yourself that you always did
your best, and gave your best. Go back to your core value system and check. If
there is peace inside you, then you know you did everything you could to
prevent the unwanted. Things can still happen that aren’t as we expected. You
will have to accept the challenge in order to face it, deal with it and move
forward.
Understanding Choices
Having a choice is one of our biggest
powers. That and that we have a resource inside ourselves, our inner being,
that is an invaluable asset that is available to us throughout our life. That
is our connection with the source to which nothing is impossible, meaning to us
also – nothing is impossible.
Have a look at what your choices are, and
which one is the one that resonates with you. Which one brings you the most
peace? That’s a clear indicator in which direction to go. Avoid punishing
yourself. You are being of love and forgiveness, and that has to stretch in
every direction, starting with yourself. If you find that you had done
something that may have hurt someone else – offer a sincere apology, for it was
never ever your true intention to cause pain. Leave it at that. If something,
or someone, has caused you pain – understand (even if it is not offered to you)
that the same applies. This is your opportunity to heal by becoming a better
version of yourself. Do not let it pass you by! Search the thoughts you are
most at peace with and know that is the right direction.
Best Friend Analogy – a Life Saver
This is what brought it home for me! Remove
yourself out of the picture for a moment, to assume this perspective: Your best friend is going through exactly
what you are going through at this moment. What would your advice be to your
best friend?
You would be kind, you would be loving, you
would be understanding, but you would also be honest, straight and you would
offer them the benefit of your best experience to help them see how valuable
they are.
You are getting the picture, I am sure. This
is the time when you truly have to make yourself one of your top priorities.
There is no shortcut to this. And once you get into the habit of looking out
for yourself, and guiding yourself this way, from this perspective – you will
realise you have never been closer to your inner being. You will feel that your
inner being is smiling in knowing that you found your way home, my friend.
Deep Joy
Whether you are going through a difficult
situation, or you just feel that you want to push yourself a little more to
reach the next level – the process above is the same. Be your own best friend.
You know exactly how to be a best friend, so there is no excuse of ‘I don’t
know how to do that’. Direct the pure love inside you towards everyone, but
don’t skip yourself. And don’t wait for the fire to reach for the extinguisher;
don’t wait to break before you start piecing yourself back together. Recognise
that you need you! You need your love and care, and unless your love to others
comes from this deep place of connection – things will go zigzagging. You have
the power within to steady it. And the joy you feel, is simply unlike anything
else you have ever experienced. In that state – you know all is well and you
know that all will always be well.
Remember – You Are Safe Here
This is the sacred place between our souls. Thank you for sharing your visions, dreams and ideas. Your courage to be vulnerably seen will always be respected, and you will be treated with nothing but kindness and compassion. ♡
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